life goes on....

she left yesterday...same time, i went for my supp exam...sat for my paper...but the image of her crosses my mind each time....the fact i tried to shake that feeling off, but i cant seem to...i knw i lost concentration...but i managed to answer all the ques...hoping to pass it...after exam, i felt much relived but when i took a walk around campus, those feelings came back again. i could see her walking with her frens, walking down the corridor...reality awoke me...she's gone...i couldnt bear to walk around much longer, i went home straight...i didnt eat breakfast , lunch, dinner yesterday....i didnt eat again today...i really dont have the appetite to eat...i felt helpless...couldnt do anything...but to sit there...stare at the wall...and think...i feel souless, thrs nothing in me...nothing at all...i tried very hard to suppress the feeling of breaking down..but i guessed i failed....went to the beach again....sat on the log watching sunset...looking at the sky, feel the cold wind blowing my hair...i didnt feel any better.... im tired..really really tired...the moment i opened my eyes today....i thought of her....i think i drank enough...even if i drink...i couldnt forget...the pain and sadness seem to double...tears will keep falling down and wake up the next day with headache...God, are you punishing me...or just testing me? i am weak, for i dont have the strength to face all this...Im sorry...really really sorry...I knw i am useless...perhaps, im too stubborn, dont wanna let go and insist of repairing the pieces of glass that had already broken...but i got myself hurt in the end....everything will change....for the better or for the worst? i do not know....I am still holding onto the rope....and wont let go....